It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You

"You need to plan us a fortieth anniversary party," Dad told me. "We'll pay for it, but you and [G.] have to plan it."

"Which means I'll be doing everything." I know how these things play out.

"They'll help you."

"I'll still end up doing everything."

I don't mind the concept of throwing an anniversary party for my parents. What I mind is being ordered to do so. And since it's their money, I'm sure they'll end up with veto power over everything...

Hey, wait a minute. This sounds awfully familiar.

I guess the first order of business will be finding a venue that doesn't have the end of June/beginning of July period totally booked.

No, wait. The first order of business will be trying to comprehend this whole business, while dealing with the business of my own progressively-more-challenging life.

Maybe I had it right as a teenager: My family may love me, but I don't think they like me very much.